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Thursday, November 23, 2006

What you should avoid as a future parent

This is from personal experience. Because it is from personal experience, and I hope that other parents will avoid the mistakes I made, I am making this a sticky post (one which remain at the top of the main page always). If you want to know how to make a sticky post, surf over to How to make a sticky post (close new window to get back to this page).

When your wife is pregnant, try to keep the relationship good and avoid arguments that may lead to her getting angry. Keep the atmosphere calm and serene. Why do I say this? I have 5 grown up children, and one of them have a very bad temper. If my memory did not fail me, my wife was pregnant with him when we did not have a good relation and there were frequent arguments. My guess was that when one is angry, hormones circulate inside the body, and the same hormones circulate within the foetus. My guess is that this affect the development of the baby and when born, the baby is likely to have a bad temperament. So fathers and father-to-be, keep on good terms with your wife when she is pregnant, for otherwise, it may come back to haunt you with a bad tempered child. Keep the atmosphere calm and serene.

Another example. My sister-in-law lost her first baby due to a blocked intestine. She had other babies after that. I suspect that when she was pregnant with the second one, she was still mourning for the first baby she lost. Of all the children, the eldest always show a sad countenance, unlike the younger ones who are always cheerful.

Also, value education. I have five children. I encouraged the first three to read from young. Then I had some bad experience from thinking too much. (I am a highly educated and thinking person). Too much thinking gave me problems. Also, I have the impression that the more one is educated, the less risks one is prepared to take. So my last too was not brought up the same way the elder three were. I did't emphasise on education as much as I did with the elder three. Now they are grown up, the elder three are doing OK and can take care of themselves. The younger three who are less educated find problems getting good jobs.

Just hope my experience will help you avoid the pitfalls I have allowed myself to fall into.

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